Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
