Who did Billy Mays play for?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I want a musical about memes.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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