two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
