please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
