I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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