Rock
Scissors
Fuck
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
