I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
