i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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