We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
