? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
i dont even know how to be here
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
