Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
