dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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