i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
