shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
