I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
did you just send me my own nude
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
