: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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