in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
My dick has a subreddit
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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