I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
