i think i have two assholes
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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