You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I just want nice things and good sex
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
