Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
you're hired as official boob wrangler
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
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