Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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