theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
