He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
