So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
