i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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