I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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