That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
