How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
