That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
