i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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