Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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