thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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