why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
