i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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