I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Come see our sink grown plant.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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