It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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