went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
40s are totally the cure
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
