I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
