I think I am morally bankrupt
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Life is so much better after having sex.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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