She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
