dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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