Say something about gay babies.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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