I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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