bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
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