THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
