he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i just had sex bonerless
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
