I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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