Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
