Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
