I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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