Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
