if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
