The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
